I am slowly getting my life back in order, I have been ill for too long and it has started to affect my mental state as well.

The last hospital stay kicked me in the arse and has made me wake up. I can no longer go on worrying about other people and what they may or may not do.

I have to learn to trust people more, I have to stop being so controlling, I have to learn to relax. This is hard as I am a typical Virgo.

I am going to start doing my own thing, I am starting riding again, taking up yoga and now the time is right to learn the art of Reiki.

I need to do stuff for me and not rely on others as much which is what I tend to do if I am not feeling at my best.

The trouble was I got worse over such a long time I didn't notice how bad I had got, at times I did think that I wasn't as well as I should have been but I didn't want to admit defeat. Then it got too much even for me and I asked to be admitted.

I have put my partner through hell these past 10 months and now it may just be too late to make it up but by God am I going to try. Now I am on the mend I am going to give everything 100% - watch this space.

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