I am useless at cooking.

I don't consider I have actually cooked unless I have:

a) burned the food

b) burned myself

c) missed something out

or

d) set something on fire

tonight I managed a & b.

I was thrown out of HomeEc at school for several reasons:

1) I forgot I had left the gas on in the oven and when I went to light it - the cooker exploded.

2) When making Rum truffles I took a whole bottle of Wood's 100% rum to school but forgot my sandwiches so ended up having a "liquid lunch" and my Dad coming to pick me up as I had passed out in the Headmistress's office.

3) I left some food in the locker in the HomeEc classroom over the summer and the school had to call in Pest Control when we started back in the September. They still don't know it was me.

4) I think that was it.

Oh there was the time I washed Lithium down the sink in Chemistry and the plumbing blew up and a girl was catapulted off the toilet.

Now that definately is it.

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