Last night we watched The Beach and it sparked off something in me. I always wanted to do the travelling thing but because of my illness and a few other factors (money and Kevin) I never did it.

I don’t regret not going as I know someday I will go to all the places I want to go and maybe not all at once, but I will get there. It’s like when I was leaving Mexico, I turned to look at the shore and I promised myself I would go back. I intend to keep that promise.

Later on when we were in bed, Roop started to ask questions about where I would go and what sort of person did I see myself marrying. Well, I didn’t know quite what to say as I had never really thought about anything like that in-depth. Like I said before I would like to go to all sorts of places but there are a couple that I definitely want to go to, Hong Kong is one, New Zealand is another as is Australia. I would like to go to Peru to see the Inca settlement, Machu Picchu and perhaps I will find a Crystal Skull.

As for who I would marry, I have been close once. Oh I loved Kevin, how could I not, we were together for a long time, but I wasn’t IN love with him. If I am completely honest I didn’t really like him. He was amicable enough but he could be very nasty. He was vindictive and very jealous of anyone who had more than him. As time went on I liked him less and less. At the end of the relationship we still spent days just being alone together but never spoke a word. It was a relief when it ended. I only wish it had finished before it got to that stage and maybe just maybe we could have been acquaintances, as I don’t think we could ever have been friends.

I hope things do work out with Rupert, I know if we did split we could stay friends due to our long history (I think he has forgiven me for hitting him with my red umbrella when I first met him) but I also think it will be very difficult. I just know I would want to hold him, kiss him and stroke his hair.

I catch myself dreaming of growing old together, hoping more and more that what we have will last forever.

If only one dream can come true, I want it to be that one.

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